I've long since removed my "Personal Best" section from this blog. Really, what's the point and who am I kidding. They were really only there as a reminder to myself, and some kind of justification, value...'metrics' as the office knobs would say, to my own self gratification. But they're out of date. And besides, what's the rules with that kind of thing? Should I redo them every year, or what? It is no longer important to me...which of course is a blatant lie. It's more important than that!
It seems both irrelevant and hugely depressing stating my 5k pb is 18.28 2 years ago when this year I've only just managed to pop a sub 21. So I've removed it! But how to measure this sport of ours? How does it tick your box? For me, it's very complex. So I won't bother to try to explain, other than to say I do essentially get enormous well being and personal satisfaction from having done a run that could either be easy and sociable, or a lonely battle against mental daemons and the raging elements. They are both positive episodes.
I was struck the other day when listening to a story about a PW, personal worst achieved in a local race. I tried very hard to re illustrate how for the same race, the same result, it was simply a PB for today...it was the best you could be today. Not your worst. Maybe I was just turd polishing, but it's the same, isn't it...except for how it leaves you feeling. It seems wrong not to reward or at least acknowledge the effort, intent and commitment which were all 100% even if the outcome wasn't what was hoped.
There is still much to celebrate, to recall, to have enjoyed and yet still be motivated to do better rather than throw it all away and abandon hope. I was close to abandoning hope this weekend and will confess I spent a fair amount of it on my hands and knees hanging over the toilet rim. I've been totally rinsed and not seen the light of day until this morning. Running was not a thought that has crossed my mind...but some photos of other runs and of me with some snot on my nose and my birthday running top!
