The French open air, it would seem, is an invitation for all men to take a pee at will. After all, as my friend Joe (aged 4 1/2 in 4 days) says, 'all you need is a tree to wee'. But French men, it seems, will piss anywhere. Google Gerard Depardieu, if you must! A massive national stereotype and inaccurate, I'm sure, but you certainly sense a theme as you innocently wander the countryside. Likewise at the beginning of a running race, no matter where, when a man or woman needs to go, go they will.
I've noticed some pre-race information now requests participants to respect neighbouring gardens and private property. Use the facilities provided, they ask, such is the propensity to pee anywhere. And at run club, I've noticed there's a tremendous amount of farting going on from all ranks and sex, without any apparent effort to 'manage' the situation. And certainly no apology or a subtle 'oops, sorry' just a massive rasper from the attractive girl in front that leaves me looking round at the others with my mouth open!
'Err, hello, am I the only person that heard that?' A British thing, perhaps. It's one thing, of course, to witness a Frenchman pissing into the gully, evidenced not only by his stance, but an impressive arc and reach that traverses the undergrowth and into the drains. It's another thing all together to witness an Englishman in questionable running apparel, and now suffering stage fright, just stood there with 'Little Dick' in hand trying to avert the eye of a passing ramblers group in what only 30 seconds ago was an idyllic peaceful and barren French beach!
